Christmas 1973 and 1981
by Igiveup
Summary: Gene's first Christmas with Sam, and Gene's first Christmas with Alex. How they are the same, and how they are different. Now Complete! Thanks to theHuntgoeson for the title!
1. Chapter 1

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Happy holidays everyone! Here's a Life on Mars, Ashes to Ashes Christmas story for you.

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The holidays were always a depressing time, usually made more so by seemingly the entire world's insistence that everyone should be skipping around with merry little grins on their faces, singing cheery little carols into the wee hours of the morning. Never mind that this is the first time you've spent the holiday away from family, or that you've been through an ugly divorce, or that someone close to you has died the year before and you still feel the void they left behind. Be you a man or a woman, you needed to plaster a grin on your face and act like this is "the most wonderful time of the year" as one idiotic song put it.

First holiday away from family is something everyone has experienced at some point in their lives. It's always painful, particularly since one of the main focuses of the holiday was family togetherness. There were two Christmases in particular that stood out in Gene Hunt's mind. Oddly enough, it wasn't first hand experience with family separation for him, but for his two DIs: Sam Tyler, and seven years later, Alex Drake. Drake's first Christmas with the team happened to coincide with the aftermath of Gene's divorce---and his lingering grief over Sam's death.

The first Christmas that Sam had spent with the team had fallen on a dreary day. Nothing but a steady cold rain all day long. To add to the merriment, they had to investigate the death of a little boy, no more than a year old. Killed by his own father, as it turned out.

Sam was as disgusted as the rest of the team, and took off. Annie moved as if to follow him, but Gene stopped her, understanding Sam's need for space. He made damn sure to avoid the scum---no way in hell did that bastard deserve the title of 'father'---knowing in that instant he would not be able to stop himself from crossing the line into murder.

To The Railway Arms then, to get good and plastered. Nelson was cheerful, but knew enough to tone it down when he saw Gene's face.

"I see your Christmas has not been very merry so far, has it _mon brave?"_

"No it hasn't, and I'll thank you not to talk to me about it."

Nelson nodded and brought Gene a bottle of scotch. Gene supposed it was too much to ask that crime took the holiday off. Scum will be scum, be it December or July. If it wasn't him trying to clean up the mess, it was some other poor coppers.

That little boy haunted Gene. How easily would it have been his or Stu's fate. Of course, Stu caught up with death soon enough. Maybe that child was lucky, dying when he did. Being spared such a life. Then again, that boy could have made something of himself, like Gene had. There was no way of knowing though. No sense it dwelling on it either, wasn't going to bring the lad back to life.

"Hallo, Sam!"

Nelson's warm greeting made Gene look up from his drink. Sam lingered in the doorway, his eyes radiating pain. Gene was no fairy, but he had to agree with Annie's description of Sam's eyes: the most intense and expressive that he'd ever seen in a person's face. Sam shifted from one foot to another, looking as if he might bolt at any moment. Gene tilted his head in a "come here," gesture.

"Don't just stand there with the door open, Tyler! Come on, I'll buy you a drink."

Sam thought it over for a moment, and then, hesitatingly, joined Gene at the bar.

"What will it be _mon brave?"_

"Scot-scotch," Sam said, his voice catching on the word. He rubbed his eyes, and Gene saw that they were swollen and red rimmed. Sam had been crying earlier, and was clearly on the verge of doing so again. No wonder he hesitated before entering the pub.

"Why aren't you with your family, Nelson?" Sam asked quietly.

"Family can be defined in many ways, Sam. You know that."

"I guess I'm willing to consider you family, Nelson, long as you keep the booze coming," Gene said, trying to distract himself and Sam from their shared depression.

Sam gave a half-hearted chuckle to Gene's remark, then slipped back into silence once more. Meanwhile Gene found himself thinking of that little boy again, and how being with family hadn't done him a damn bit of good.

"So... I suppose you're eventually going home to the wife then?" was the next question asked by the DI.

"No, she's off visiting her mum."

"Why didn't you go with her? You two have a falling out?"

"What do you care?"

"I'm your friend," Sam answered, concerned.

"No we didn't have a falling out," Gene lied. "I just can't stand her mother."

Sam snorted, making it the second time that Gene had managed, ever so slightly, to lighten his mood. He could feel his own mood brightening a little as well. However, he nearly ruined it the next time he opened his mouth.

"Well, Tyler, you've been asking me some personal questions and I was nice enough to answer them. Now it's your turn. Why aren't you visiting with your family?"

Sam's face crumpled completely, and he hurriedly rose to his feet, fumbling in his pockets for money. "I-I-I have to go I-"

Gene grabbed Sam's arm, caught completely off guard by the other man's reaction.

"Oi! Oi! Drinks are on me remember? Sit back down. Didn't mean to strike such a nerve there," he said, worry slipping into his voice.

Not only were tears streaming down Sam's face, but his nose was running too. He was also shivering a little. Wordlessly, Nelson refiled Sam's drink and placed some paper napkins in front of him before leaving the two coppers alone once more.

"Sorry about that," Gene said once Sam had cleaned his face up a little. "You don't have to answer." Indeed, Sam's reaction had been an answer in itself.

"N-no, it's all right, Guv. I..." Sam swallowed hard. When he spoke again, he seemed to be choosing his words carefully. "You remember that business with Morgan?"

"Not this again! How many times do I have to tell you that you came back for us? You set things right. Been with us through too much to do anything else."

"That's exactly the point," Sam said flatly. "Don't think for a second I regret saving you---because I don't. But, by doing that... by choosing the team, I can never, ever, go back to Hyde, to my family. I hurt them, Gene. After everything they'd done for me I---" Sam was starting to come apart again, like a dam bursting. "My mum t-told me she understood. Th-that I made a promise, and that I always---I always---"

"Keep your promises," Gene finished for him. "That you do, Sammy Boy." He still didn't quite understand how Sam's choosing the team would prevent him from seeing his family. The clues he had gotten about Hyde from Sam, as well as the real reason behind Sam's transfer, painted the place in a rather dark light. Gene was actually starting to be grateful that Sam had got out from under the influence of Hyde when he did. He supposed it only figured that they would deal Sam one last cruel parting blow.

Gene found himself wishing that Cartwright would show up. Ever since Sam had arrived, he and Annie had shared a special bond that went far deeper than just an urge to shag each other's brains out. Sam had a real respect for Annie, treating her as an equal instead of another skirt. And Annie always seemed willing to listen to Sam, no matter how strange his words or behaviour. Gene sensed that she was also behind the disappearence of some of Sam's more extreme habits. _She _could probably talk to Sam without making him cry. Or if she did, knew how to help him stop. Birds had it easier than blokes in that respect.

Just what the hell was he supposed to say in response to Sam's story? If anything? Gene thought about changing the subject, but the only other thing that came to mind was that murdered little boy. _Not _an improvement.

"I had always wanted a brother. Wasn't going to happen, what with my father walking out when I was so young and my mum never remarrying."

Good, Sam had decided to change the subject himself. Though it was a bit abrupt, and as usual with Tyler, Gene had a hard time figuring out just where he was going with it. At least Sam had finally stopped crying.

"And then I came here," Sam said softly, getting a faraway look in his eyes.

"You trying to say you think of me as your brother?" Gene asked, not entirely sure how he felt about that. Maybe a little touched. Just a little.

"Actually I was thinking that Chris is like the little brother I never had. Always wanted someone to look up to me."

"Can't say I'm surprised, with that ego of yours," Gene muttered.

Sam smiled slightly. "And you're like the big brother I never had."

"Oi, enough with the sentimentality, before I lose my lunch."

Gene couldn't help but feel that Sam might want to rethink the whole like-a-brother-to-me business. Gene hadn't done too well by his own brother, how would he managed with a surrogate, especially one that managed to get himself into as much trouble as Sam did? Then again, as Sam had said, Sam no longer had any family of his own. The team and the job were all he had left now. Someone had to look after him, and Cartwright shouldn't be forced to do it all by herself either.

Sam had chuckled at Gene's protest before returning his attention to his drink. There was still a lingering sadness in his eyes, but there was also a spark of hope as well.

"What do you want to do now?" Sam finally asked.

"How about shoot all off-key carolers, by which I mean, all carolers. Holidays are depressing enough without having to listen to their caterwauling."

"Bah, humbug to you too, Mister Scrooge," Sam replied, sitting back and folding his arms, his eyes on the floor.

"It's not like you're exactly Mister Sunshine either, nor should you be. Any bastard tells you to cheer up because it's Christmas, knock their teeth in."

That got another snicker from Sam. "Got it," he said finally.

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**_Tune in next time for Gene's first Christmas with Alex. I'll try not to take too long..._**


	2. Chapter 2

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Lyrics from "I Believe in Father Christmas" by Greg Lake. Copyright 1975. From the Album Emerson, Lake and Palmer: Works 2.

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_"Hallelujah! Noel! Be it Heaven or or Hell, the Christmas we get we deserve."_

"What a load of rubbish!" Gene snarled, switching off the radio. Had Annie deserved to become a widow last year? How about that man who had to come in this morning to identify the body of his fourteen year old daughter? Or the girl herself, who had her skull bashed in with a hammer? Gene was almost vibrating with anger. He needed a drink. _Now._

No Railway Arms or Nelson this time around. It was off to Luigi's. Snowstorms had caused the owner's flight to be canceled, leaving him stranded in London. He seemed to be taking it in stride, though, leaving his restaurant open for business. The rest of the team was already there when Gene arrived.

Alex was sitting alone at the bar, which surprised Gene. He thought Alex had finally started to consider herself as one of the team. Why wasn't she sitting with them?

Their singing might have something to do with it, Gene decided, winching as he found himself being assaulted by the worst preformance of "Twelve Days of Christmas" that he had ever heard in his life. To make it worse, someone---Gene suspected Ray---had decided it would be funny to substitute some of the lyrics, leading the 'gifts' to become increasingly bizarre, and sexually graphic. Shaz was reacting with appropriate disgust, but was only able to get Chris to stop. Finally, Gene raised his voice to be heard over the drunken singing.

"Oi! Enough of that racket! If you have to sing, then sing it right or don't sing it at all!"

"Sorry, Guv," the others said, almost in unison.

Taking a chance, Gene joined Alex at the bar. "Finally some peace and quiet," he said, hoping to make her smile.

"Thank you," she said quietly, her mind clearly somewhere else. Come to think, she hadn't really reacted to the bawdy rendition of the Christmas song going on behind her.

"Penny for your thoughts, love?" Gene asked. This was Alex's first Christmas with the team, and yet here she was sitting at the bar, staring into her drink and looking like she was fighting back tears.

"I want to go home, Gene."

Gene sighed, resisting the urge to tell her, yet again, that she was the one who had signed up for the transfer in the first place, and she was going to stay until her services were no longer needed.

Truth be told, the bird drove him crazy sometimes, making him consider giving in to her whining. But when she wasn't being a pain in the arse,she proved herself to be a vital addition to his team, like Sam had before her. That was another reason why he kept her on: she reminded him of Sam. Made sense, given that they knew each other. Gene still held out hope that if Alex stayed with the team long enough, she'd become more normal, like Sam had. It had already seemed to be working to some degree. At least she no longer referred to the team as 'constructs', and had stopped inviting strange blokes back to her flat.

"I've never spent the holidays away from Molly before. The job's always kept me busy, but I made sure I spent the holidays at home," Alex whispered. "And now I'm so afraid I'll never spend them with her again."

Just what was Gene supposed to say to that? He couldn't very well tell her that she would be with her daughter during the holidays again. He didn't know that, nor did he know the circumstances as to why she couldn't see her daughter now. Given that Alex was divorced, Gene suspected it was probably some sort of custody issue. She didn't offer much information in that reguard, and Gene didn't blame her for it. His own divorce ranked very low on his favourite topics of discussion, right behind Stu and Sam's deaths.

Sam... it was still hard for Gene to accept that he was really dead. The lack of a body didn't help either. The terrible irony was that Sam had always been the careful driver, nagging Gene about obeying the laws of the road. And yet, _he _was the one who ran his car into the river, not even leaving a body for a proper burial. It was as if he'd just vanished. They all knew the risks that came with the badge when they signed up. But then you come out of so many dangerous situations alive that a part of your mind starts to think your luck will hold out forever. Sam's death was a reminder that it does not.

Annie did not transfer to London with the rest of the team, preferring to remain in Manchester with Sam's memory. She had understood why Gene needed to leave, though. She told him not to blame himself for Sam's death, because she didn't, and she knew Sam wouldn't either. She also told Gene to ring her up anytime if he wanted to talk. He had done so this morning, and found that she was doing quite well for herself, under the circumstances. She was very slowly starting to move up in the ranks. Gene had a feeling that she could go pretty far.

"Don't you have anyone to spend the holidays with, Gene?" Alex had apparently decided to put her own problems aside for the moment.

"I'm spending them here with my team, aren't I?" Gene answered, as said team started in on a rousing chorus of "Deck the Halls."

Alex smiled. It was a very sad smile though, that did not reach her eyes.

"But you don't have anyone else, outside the team?"

"Nope," Gene answered, signaling Luigi for a refill.

His brother had died from an overdose, his mam had passed on from old age, his father, whom he didn't give a rat's arse about, had drank himself to death, and his wife had left him. No, there was no-one left. Just the team and the job.

"No-one should be alone at Christmas," Alex muttered.

"Team's a good group of people, go be with them if you're lonely," Gene said.

"Yes, they---you, are nice. It's just..." Alex sighed before taking another sip of her drink.

"It's not as good as being with your own family," Gene finished for her. "Understand that for you, Bolly, but for me, Ray and Chris are closer than blood."

Oi! Had he actually said that aloud? He quickly looked over his should to see if Chris and Ray had heard him. Chris was too distracted by Shaz, and Ray was still caught up in the drunken chorus. Gene mentally sighed with relief.

"They transfered with you from Manchester," Alex remembered. "Would you still have gone through with the transfer if they hadn't agreed to accompany you?"

There was a question Gene hadn't really thought about before. Manchester had held so many memories of Sam that Gene could no longer stay there. But, to come to London completely alone, without any sort of anchors at all... it was enough to give him chills, thinking about it.

"Don't know," he said finally. "But I'm glad that they did."

"They're quite loyal to you," Alex told him.

"That they are."

"You're lucky for that. I honestly have not seen such devotion to a DCI before, or just between friends in general."

Gene was starting to wish that Alex would find something else to talk about besides Chris and Ray's loyalty, it was embarrassing, especially with them in the same room. It was an improvement over her longing to go home, though. And maybe Ray and Chris were too drunk to remember hearing anything.

As if sensing Gene's discomfort, Alex said, "I came down here because I wanted to be around other people. Upstairs by myself, my thoughts were growing far too dark."

"Your thoughts still seem a bit gloomy, Alex. Why not join the party, maybe have a little fun?"

"Why don't you?" Alex asked in return.

"Not in the mood to be merry."

"Well, neither am I."

Gene smiled a little, remembering a Christmas eight years before, where he had advised Sam not to let anyone force him to be happy at Christmas.

"It's a good balance this way. For me, at least," Alex told him. "Watching other people have a genuinely good time without joining in myself."

"I would think that would make you feel worse."

"A little," Alex admitted. "But at the same time it's a sign of hope. There is life and happiness. If I can't have that happiness for myself, at least my friends can. That's why you're here, isn't it? To see your friends be happy. It helps."

"Guess so," Gene admitted, glancing over his shoulder at the team. Chris and Shaz had started to collect their coats, and Chris even helped Shaz put hers on. They shared a brief kiss before waving goodbye to the others.

"Merry Christmas, Alex, Guv!" They called out cheerfully.

Alex and Gene smiled and waved back.

"They are such a cute couple, aren't they?"

"Ugh, please, Bolly. Not on an empty stomach."

Alex actually snickered. "Come on, it's sweet. I predict wedding bells somewhere down the line."

"I can see that," Gene conceded.

"I was hoping you'd disagree with me so we could make a wager."

"Still could, you know. How long until those bells start ringing?"

Alex thought about it. "Hmmm... maybe three months from now?"

"Oi! That's a bit quick there Bolly. All right, I'll say seven months. How much are we wagering?"

"I'm not sure yet. We'll worry about payment when the time comes, assuming I'll still be around to collect my winnings." The light that had appeared in her eyes faded at the thought of her still being around months from now.

Great, now what? Gene wondered. They had actually been having a little bit of fun, but the dark thoughts and feelings just wouldn't go away.

"So how long do you see the marriage lasting?" he asked, deciding to return to the subject of Chris and Shaz. He was starting to understand why birds gossip so much. Thinking about other people's business was often easier than dealing with your own.

Alex smiled a little. "Till death do they part."

"You're rather optimistic, aren't you? Things always start out bright and cheerful, but they can turn sour fast."

Or in the case of his marriage, slowly rot away to nothing. The writing had been on the wall for a long time before they finally made it official. The day he got the news of the transfer, he had come home to find his belongings packed up in boxes on the porch.

"Call it woman's intuition. I just have a good feeling about those two," Alex said.

"Hope you're right, for their sakes," Gene said, meaning it.

They were nearly alone in the restaurant now. Only Luigi remained, mopping the floors. Gene raised his glass in a toast.

"Merry Christmas, Bolly."

Alex raised her own glass. "Merry Christmas, Gene."

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**_The end! Please let me know what you thought. Be honest now._**


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